I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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