You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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