i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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