Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
