Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I love having hate sex.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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