just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
