i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
