Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My bed smells like the plague
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