well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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