youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i think im in europe. pls send help
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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