I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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