I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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