It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Damn victory sex feels great
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
