There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
