I just made out with a guy for $7.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're like the curious george of whores
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
