evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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