Me too!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
