PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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