just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
