just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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