haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
