Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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