wrigley field is MILF paradise
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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