from now on my penis is your penis
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
