2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we should paint friendship bongs
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