No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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