Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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