Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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