I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize