She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
