Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
