I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
