Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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