At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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