Can i not drive my cunt home
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
