bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He has the fingertips of a God
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