i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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