he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
