I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have already put on my inside pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
