Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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