May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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