You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
