Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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