The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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