He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
