I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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