he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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