Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.