even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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