I accidentally burped into my bong.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Found the puke drawer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.