Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize