Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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