another moral hangover. fuck.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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