so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
