My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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