well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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