im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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