I CAN MOONWALK!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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