were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
