Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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