apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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