our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
