I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
