Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
