it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
