can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
worst night to have a conscience
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
