Whod you bang
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
