you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize