Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize